I want to stay in our family home.
Everyday l support client’s as they deal with the heartbreaking decisions of dividing assets which they have worked hard to obtain. More often than not, I hear the woman say, ‘I want to stay in our family home’. In a lot of cases, this just isn’t possible. The thought of selling just another burden to bare. The emotional attachment and secure environment become the driving force in doing whatever possible to keep the property.
But, l would like my clients to review all options and think about the bigger picture. In most cases keeping the family home causes extra stress and prevents the person from moving on in their life as the debt associated translates into an anchor around their neck. Limiting their cash flow and preventing them living a life of happiness.
In some cases, the thought of betrayal and the hurt associated with the family breakdown brings financial reality to a head. And reviewing your circumstances, and spending can also be an eye-opening experience. For some clients after years of being together and then review your assets versus liabilities can seem like a wasted opportunity. With more debt than you were prepared to consider possible. Here in Australia, our way to wealth is via property and capital growth. Depositing of that asset may seem silly. (more…)
Preparation the key to success
Like anything we do in life, preparation is the key.
When you decided to walk down the aisle, you spent weeks, if not months choosing the right gown. Hours of contemplation went into picking the venue, the flowers and food served to your guest. Where your guests will sit and who is on their table. Even the honeymoon was something you had dreamt of or researched for a considerable time. These points are all majorly important to a successful outcome. The planning executed to a tee helping make your wedding day such a memorable occasion. Limiting stress and the chances of anything untoward happening to ruin your special event. You did everything possible to prevent the dangers of anything going wrong.
Then came the kids. On confirmation of the two blue lines on the pregnancy stick, your thoughts went into a positive result. Giving up your favourite vices to grow a healthy human. The colour and decoration of the room. Bags packed, having chosen a boys and girls name in preparation for either sex. And most importantly, you picked the best doctor and hospital, to bring your new precious bundle of joy into the world. You did everything possible to prevent the dangers of anything going wrong.
Let me introduce you to Michelle.
Michelle and her husband of 28 years have separated and have just settled on their financial agreement after dividing their investments. If you have read my book The Jelly Bean Jar, you would know l break divorces into three categories: A Your decision, B Partner’s decision, C Joint decision. Each of these categories has different connotations for the partners, involved, and that is why ‘no two divorces are the same.’ Depending on the class you fall into will depend on your emotional state. How long it takes to recover, and ultimately the team of professionals l engage to best deal with your circumstances. Ultimately this team with help to achieve your seamless outcome from your divorce journey.
Now getting back to Michelle, she falls into category B. Michelle had no idea, her husband was unhappy. She was ill prepared for the disaster her life was to become when he asked her for a divorce. The couple had worked hard all their life and had two adult children. Together they had acquired a property portfolio of four investment properties around Australia and owned their own home. They both have substantial superannuation and if they had stayed together retirement was only a few short years away. Feeling frantic about her future Michelle, found out some months later her husband had a new partner. The ex-husband remained in the family home, and she moved out and was renting a two bedroom unit. Her hopes, dreams and wishes for an enjoyable retirement out the window in four words….I want a divorce. Not to mention the reality of being alone and scared about what her future holds.
Keeping your head above water
Have you sat there, with this feeling of worry? How the F&#k will I survive?
Survive Separation with my top tips. Don’t know about you but l knew l needed to move on, it was time, nothing was going to change and if anything l felt like l had tossed the situation around in my mind for that long, it was exhausting. I was tired, and every day I became increasingly bitter at what my life had become. Was l doing the right thing? Could l fall back in love after everything had been said and done? Maybe l could live in this loveless marriage for the kids? Could I settle for a life which no longer fulfilled me? I continually came up with a reason why I had to stay, yet my stomach and soul told me something different. There was no way l could continue to ignore what l felt, it was affecting my health. (more…)
‘Love is like a jar of jelly beans:
overflowing, sweet, bright and beautiful.’
As a little girl, I always loved fairy tales – I wanted my happily ever after.
Then, as a young teenager, I remember my mum
and I having a conversation about what love was. And mum, explaining
to me her analogy of ‘the jelly bean jar’. Mum said, ‘When people
fall in love with each other, there is a jar full to the brim with
bright, sweet, beautiful jelly beans. Those jelly beans represent their
love and commitment to each other. Over time, as the relationship grows and evolves, incidents happen, both good and bad. Pleasant actions increase jelly beans
and events that cause conflict remove jelly beans’.
Can you pinpoint the moment you knew everything was going to change?
At some stage, you get to the point of no return. When the words are said, and you cannot take them back or forget you heard what you heard. Sometimes the venom in how the words are delivered is enough to rock your world, and we can retaliate without even thinking. How did our life come to this? How did my dream of happily ever after turning to the nightmare I am now living? The options are yours; you can continue to ignore the miserable existence your life has become or address it head on with the help of a team of experts, like my Army of Angels.
I once heard this story and it resonates today.
There once was a man who lived in a small village and one night in his sleep an angel came to him in his dreams.