woman budgeting

Why men find women sexy, who can manage a budget. Budgeting is not sexy at all. Some may even consider budgeting boring. We men and women are different beasts. Women are the nurturers and men the hunters and gathers. We have different interest. What women find enjoyable, some men think is dull and boring.  Have you heard the gents complaining about waiting while their partner is trying on clothes, and why does it take so long? To the extent, that some shopping centres are thinking up ways to keep men entertained as they know it will bring in more women shoppers. And what men prioritise, we women can find tedious and time-consuming? I know a man that had to organise his family holiday around a Tuesday night table tennis game because he had played 96 games in a row and wanted to get to ‘100’. They left for their holiday on a Wednesday morning and returned the following Tuesday morning, with enough time contingency for a delayed flight. Because l don’t want you to worry, he made his game and reached his 100th game.

At Divorce Angel, when talking to our clients, the different sexes seem to show a pattern.  Our research and findings have highlighted two areas men and women think differently about when going through a separation and divorce.  Women’s greatest struggles are related to the children, and we often hear comments like, ‘He is trying to take the children’. And for men, it is about money. I overheard a comment while having drinks the other night.  There was a group of guys supporting their mate who was having relationship problems, with them saying ‘All she wants is your money’. These similar conversations occur throughout most relationship breakups. But if we look back at history, we were all brought up to believe women are the nurtures- being children and the men hunters and gather – being money.

So, why men find women sexy who can manage a budget? Simple, men worry about money. They go out and (hunt and gather) to get paid and don’t want to see it misused, they want every bit of value out of that hard earned dollar. Think back centuries ago when men would bring back the animal which would be used for everything from food, to clothing and blankets. Today, their masculine brain still thinks the same. Whether they are in construction or IT, men still see going to work as a form of protection and security. It pays the bills, it feeds the family and keeps them warm.

Now, please don’t think l am sexist in any way, and l am far from a kept women. I am just explaining this in simple terms.

Bringing this conversation back into the 21st century, we women work as hard as men, some would say harder. Does this sound familiar, working full time and then coming home to look after a family?  A single woman in control of her finances is my hero! And it all starts with knowing your numbers. The power and control that comes from knowing your budget can make all the difference to how you live. Being in control of a budget can make the difference between having a secure future or finding yourself in debt. Having money is empowering. Having money gives you choices. Having money gives you freedom. So if you think doing a budget is boring, a waste of time, and there’s no need to do it. I suggest you think again, because knowing at your fingertips your cash position, at any given time, allows you to think differently.

‘Having money is empowering. Having money gives you choices. Having money gives you freedom’.

Developing a money mindset allows you to think more about investments rather than instant gratifications. It becomes second nature and rather than spending money on THINGS that can give you regret straight after you’ve purchased them, you live within your means and don’t rack up unnecessary debt.

                       So I’m not going to tell you in this blog how to do a budget, because I’ve already done a blog before on that, click this link to access it. And there are so many ways to do a budget, check out Google or like me start with an excel spreadsheet. But her is the thing; a budget can make all the difference. Not only to how you spend money, but how you attract your next partner. That’s right! I am going to tell you the difference it made to me. Being in control of my money, and knowing how much I could spend and I couldn’t spend, was simply the most empowering decision I ever made. You know why….. it is all about control. Control of my money put control back into my life.

                       After 22 years of marriage, I found myself having to make my own decisions. Shitting myself and being excited at the same time. No longer having to get another opinion or consent as to where money was being spent. Being a single, newly separated or divorced women, it was my job to know and my responsibility to keep control of my budget. There’s nothing worse than laying in bed at night wondering how you’re going to pay the next bill. Where the rent money is going to come from or how you are going to buy the shoes for the kids? All of those things keeping you up at night.

But when you have a budget, that is in control, and you have rainy day money put aside, I can’t tell you the strength a single woman or man gets from that knowledge. I may make this all sound easy; it is anything but. However, taking control of your money takes time and effort. And you had better start today!

                       So if you think budgets aren’t sexy, I’d suggest you think again. The power of controlling your life and knowing you have financial security allows you to walk with your head held high. A swagger in your step and an air of self-assurance. Every man and women in the room will be attracted to your poise and self-confidence wondering why you move light on your feet. Then, when he learns you don’t want him for his money. You don’t need him to carry your grocery bags or pay your bills, what is left. It all comes down to satisfaction, ladies. And if he isn’t satisfying your needs, then kick him to the kerb, because you are self-sufficient and in control.

Amen Sister.


About the Author:

Tanya Somerton

Tanya Somerton is the ‘Divorce Angel’, whose business is to facilitate a seamless and amicable divorce and separation with the aid of her ‘Army of Angels.’ Tanya provides a step by step process which limits cost and conflict that sees you achieving your most financially beneficial outcome possible, now and for the future.

Tanya is also the Director of TLC Investment Group, a finance and mortgage company. She helps her clients budget and plan, rather than wondering if you can keep the family home. If you need help and support in this area, contact tanya@tlcinvestmentgroup.com.au for help and advice.

She is also the author of ‘The Jelly Bean Jar – Empowering independence through Divorce’. If you are looking to prevent any mistakes and save money this book is a must. Purchase your copy here