Dealing with divorce
When we fall in love and decide on our life long partner, never do we think, it could one day fall apart.
Leaving us heartbroken, vulnerable and feeling alone. I remember once going to my clairvoyant, as l was always looking for answers to why my universe didn’t feel aligned. Sitting opposite me, she explained how she knew her husband would one day cheat on her yet she still married him. I found this interesting given her ability to prevent the pain associated with his betrayal. Instead, she spent 11 years with him and had two children. When l questioned her choices and queried WHY she answered directly. I would not be the person l am today nor would l have two beautiful children, if we did not get married. She went on to explain, they had many wonderful times, and she was filled with love when she recalled the memories.
Did you know there is a science to a successful divorce?
Before even considering contacting a lawyer, it is important to understand which of the following categories your relationship breakdown falls into. The reason being is how you act and respond to your partner due to the hurt and emotions of the initial breakup and how it all played out. This history will impact on your behaviours and decisions. In my business, we look at each of these categories and consider the emotional needs of our clients. It is so important to treat every divorce differently as conflicting emotions are involved, and our client’s needs are unique to their situation. There is no cookie cutter formula when dealing with a divorce, and no two divorces are ever the same. That’s why it is so important to look at the merits of your circumstances in isolation and not think it possible to get the same outcome as a girlfriend or family member. Reason being you are not talking apples for apples. The costs involved from this point forth and the collateral damage caused all starts with how the breakup occurred.
This week I have been introduced to a lovely woman. A woman and mother, who is caring, intelligent, articulate, smart and was completely unprepared for what has occurred in her life. Let’s call this woman Jane. Jane could be any one of us. She went to school and is highly educated. She had good jobs and was employed at a management level. Jane did contribute to society and to those around her. She got married to the man of her dreams and had children, from the outside everything looked NORMAL.
Then one day after a marriage that lasted over two decades and Jane doing everything she thought NORMAL, things changed. Her husband wanted a divorce. Completely unprepared, Jane found herself in a situation she never expected. The shock and stress were incredible, but she needed to continue for her children’s sack.
Not only in my business but from my own life experience, uncertainty can be what makes us feel FEAR the most. When your life starts down the road of relationship separation and ultimately divorce proceedings, there is no rule book. This can increase our uncertainty and FEAR. These are the reasons, I formulated my method which can be followed to prevent mistakes. Dealing with women every day who are emotional and unsure of what lays ahead I have put together a list of issues which may arise.
What other women say; divorce divorce divorce divorce divorce
Make sure you have a credit card in your name only and some rainy-day funds put aside. You don’t want your husband to cancel the card, if he is the primary account holder. If you are a stay at home mum with little of no income getting a credit card can be difficult. Financial survival is one of the main reasons women stay in unhappy relationships. They have no way of surviving if they leave. This means prep work before you even consider flying the coup.