Have you sat there, with this feeling of worry? How the F&#k will I survive?
Survive Separation with my top tips. Don’t know about you but l knew l needed to move on, it was time, nothing was going to change and if anything l felt like l had tossed the situation around in my mind for that long, it was exhausting. I was tired, and every day I became increasingly bitter at what my life had become. Was l doing the right thing? Could l fall back in love after everything had been said and done? Maybe l could live in this loveless marriage for the kids? Could I settle for a life which no longer fulfilled me? I continually came up with a reason why I had to stay, yet my stomach and soul told me something different. There was no way l could continue to ignore what l felt, it was affecting my health.
Then when you return to reality, the concept of breaking everything up and finalising your relationship feels like a climb to the top of Mount Everest. The mammoth task seems unattainable and the vision of one day being happy again insurmountable. Looking back, l now realise that every marathon starts with a single step! One step at a time and before you know it, you are halfway there. The pain and agony, lessening as the finish line comes into view.
The hopes and dreams of a life where the fighting stops and the negative feelings have disappeared, all of sudden encompass you as your partner walks through the door. The kids leave the room as they feel the loveless environment around them and the last thing they want is to witness the two people they love not talking or showing no pleasantries like they once did. The pain of this enough for them to retreat into their bedrooms where everything feels warm, inviting and safe.
‘Whatever you focus on, you will feel and experience at a stronger level’ Tony Robbins.
When you have run out of energy and the decision inevitable, realism hits you like a slap in the face. The apprehension is consuming as you comprehend the need to be self-sufficient if you continue down this path. However, the choice is easy. Smiles over frowns. Laughter over fighting. Happiness over money. Dreams over reality. Trusting that being on your own and whatever your body is telling you, will make everything alright. Trusting that you have the strength, to rebuild on your own. To rely on no one but you! This belief is like a superpower, and when the decision is made, there is no turning back. We need to put on our big girl undies and travel in the direction our dreams are taking us. The thought of one day being fulfilled and happy drawing us out of the quicksand, our life has become.
Six years on, l will not lie, there were doubts. Worrying late at night about how l would pay the bills and survive. How has this become my existence? What did l do to deserve this? I have included a free 8 page ebook at the bottom of this blog with 21 MUST DO items. Please download a copy, if you are considering making changes to your life and be prepared. When you change your thinking from Victim to Victor, doors start opening out. Opportunities you never thought possible. Events that would not have occurred if you had stayed because that was easier. Having the strength to leave a marriage and stepping up, to be in control of your future is so empowering. Having belief that life can be better. Controlling your destiny and pushing yourself to become a person you were once scared of becoming.
Here are my keys to survival:
The number one issue for us all is Security. Emotional and Financial.
- Taking control of your finances
- Having goals and visions.
- Believing in your decisions
- Backing yourself
- Forgiveness of past mistakes
- Stepping outside of your comfort zone.
- Willingness to learn.
- Not being a victim.
- Being true to yourself and finding a purpose.
The above is not in any order, but each of these has helped me to become the person l am today. My future’s so bright it makes me giddy with joy. Just because the love of your life was only for a short period rather than a life time, doesn’t mean that is wasn’t supposed to be. He may have been sent to teach you what you really want out of life and how to go about achieving that outcome. So don’t be bitter but be thankful. Learn from the experience and grow as an individual. Life is far too short to live with regret! Here’s to a life filled with possibilities, but first, you must believe in yourself and your vision for the future.
Tanya Somerton is a divorce angel, whose business is to help women through divorce and separation with the aid of her ‘Army of Angels.’ Tanya has a ‘One stop divorce shop’ helping empower women to move on both emotional and financially and to live an independent and productive life. Your seamless divorce. Your amicable divorce. And the power of……………… ” Your best possible, highest paying, settlement” How to maintain your emotional and mental wellbeing, by using a seamless step by step process, that sees you achieving your most financially beneficial outcome possible, now and for the future. survive survive survive
She is also the author of The Jelly Bean Jar – Empowering independence through Divorce. If you are looking to prevent any mistakes and save money this book is a must. Purchase your copy http://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/
For further help and support CONTACT Tanya here.
Prevent these 21 mistakes.
Worried that maybe you have forgotten something important? Make sure you checked each of these items off your list. They will make your divorce experience less stressful.