Many of us are aware of what the Law of Attraction is, and still, we tend to use it the wrong way. As we talked about it in previous episodes, the universe sends us back what we send to it. When we think about what is wrong in our lives, what kind of thoughts are we sending out there?

In this episode, I invite you to rethink with me the way we use the Law of Attraction, and I offer my best advice on how to use it properly. 

Let’s get into it

Timestamps:

What we expect from the Law of Attraction [00:01:30]

Where are we focusing our energy? [00:02:30]

The thoughts we send out to the universe [00:04:00]

How I started to change my thinking process [00:05:30]

What we do wrong when we want a change in our life [00:07:30]

What I was doing wrong [00:10:00]

It did not happen overnight [00:12:00]

Helping others might be the key to help ourselves [00:14:00]

Links

My book: The Jelly Bean Jar – Empowering Independence through Divorce

https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/

Join my Free Facebook Group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/

Divorce Roadmap Session:

https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/

Transcription

Hey everyone, it’s Tanya Somerton here, and in this podcast, I want to talk to you about, are you using the law of attraction in the opposite way? Everyone’s heard of the law of attraction, it’s about where we sit our intention, we hope that something is going to happen. And we put it out there. And we hope that it comes back to us, and we get everything that we want. And I can remember times thinking, I’m gonna just put this out there, and it’s gonna happen, and this is what I’m hoping for. And hopefully, it will come back to me. 

1:29  

What I’ve witnessed, and what I’ve seen is that people are using this law the opposite way. So what I mean by that is when you concentrate on all of the negative in your life, you bring more negativity to it. And an example might be if I said to you, please don’t think in a pink elephant. What do you think of straightaway? You think of a pink elephant. And that’s because our minds can’t work in negatives, they can only work in positives. So when you’re told not to do something, you automatically do it. The law of attraction or the law of abundance, whichever you prefer, they’re similar. So say you want abundance in your life, or you want happiness in your life, and you’re just hoping for it, you’re wishing for it. But day after day, you continue worrying about the negative things that are going on in your life. So when you think this isn’t working for me, I can’t believe that this has gone wrong. This person doesn’t like me.

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2:58  

My ex-husband, my ex-wife. causing me nothing but grief, nothing in my life is going right. If that’s the continual conversation that you’re having in your head, then that’s what you were putting out to the universe as such. You’re putting that out into the world and therefore what happens, you are bringing more of that back into your life. And that’s how the law of attraction works oppositely. And we have to be very careful about it. Because what we think about is what we grow or develop in our lives. My life, for instance, I can remember things were not going well at all. The more I worried about or hoped that everything would get right or get better, was the more that I worried about everything that was in front of me. I’m worried about the bills. 

4:00  

Worried about the kids, worried about no one loves me. I worried about not being good enough, I worried about my job, I was worried that I might lose my job. And then if I lost my job, what would happen? And it went on, and on, and on. And if I think about that period of my life, it seemed to go on for quite a long time, and it took a real shake-up for me to understand that I was bringing all of these into my life. You might ask yourself, have you ever had this in your life? I remember when our house was up for sale, and it had been on the market for a while, and I was over it. 

I’d had enough of working full time, driving an hour and a half to and from work every day, then coming home and having to look after the gardens. We had some were massive gardens, we had a pool and we were on an acre and a half, and I was doing it all as well as cleaning the house and everything. 

5:08  

So every set day when it was open for inspection, after working so hard during the week, there I was up at the crack of dawn trying to get the lawns mowed, making sure the pool was clean, clean the house. But it took a lot out of me. After about four weeks, I started thinking, this house isn’t gonna sell, no one’s gonna buy it. And week after week, I’d say to myself, it’s not going to sell today. I’m going to be doing the same thing again next week, and it would go on and on and on. 

This went on for seven months until I was about to pull the pin and allow my ex-husband to move back in because I was exhausted. I was broken. One day, I thought to myself, today’s the day the house is gonna sell because I can’t do this anymore. And we got an offer that day. We’d had so many people through, but no one was making an offer. So, look at your own life and think, are you concentrating on all of the bad that’s happening, or what you perceive to be negative in your life, and therefore, it just seems to be perpetuating, and it just seems to be happening over and over again? And you go, I’m not getting any further. This isn’t getting any better. 

When you worry about something, you draw more of that something to your life.

6:55  

So what I’m trying to get across is, when we going through this time in our life, and as I’m recording this podcast, it’s also the time that we’re dealing with the Corona Virus, and the world is a mess. We’re all scared, we’re all worried. No one knows what’s going to happen. And we’ve got the right to feel like that. But when we concentrate on the bad, we just bring more of that to us. 

People concentrate on what is going wrong. And that’s what they keep telling themselves, and that’s what their brain remembers. And then they go out and look for things to support their belief. So you’re saying to yourself, the world sucks, this isn’t right. Nobody loves me. Whatever you continue telling yourself, and then your brain is looking for facts to prove that belief.

8:08  

Another way of describing this, and I don’t know if you’ve experienced it, but when I was going through my separation, I remember going to a coffee shop and sitting down, to have five minutes to myself. And it seemed to me, and I know it’s not true, but it seemed that everyone around me appeared to be in love. Everyone was holding hands, people were kissing each other. I’d see a couple, and he touched her on the bottom and showed her a loving gesture, and all of these things. I kept seeing that all the time. And I’m thinking to myself, I’m not lovable, everyone else is, but I’m not. 

I look back at that now. And my rational mind says to me, how silly was I? If you think about it, there are seven-plus billion people in the world, and just because one relationship that I’d been in for 22 years didn’t work, I thought I wasn’t lovable. And then because I looked around, and I saw that everyone else did seem to be in love. Well, that must be true. And that was my reality. And that was what I kept telling myself. For me, the law of attraction was working oppositely. 

What happened was, we continue to fight. We continued to argue, nothing seemed to be going right. And I look back now and realize I bought a lot of that on to myself. The continual story in my head about my life is terrible. My job is so stressful, so painful. 

10:04  

And at the time, I was in a bad way, I had hair coming out. I had cold sores for nearly eight months. I’ve never had an experience like that before in my life. I had adrenal fatigue. I had been grinding my teeth that much that my teeth were splitting. And I even had to go and have acupuncture in my jaw just to try and release the pressure and the pain that I had in my face from just clenching it. And that was happening because of what I was telling myself. I was telling myself that everything was bad. But then when I got to a stage where I realized what was happening and something had to change, I changed the way I was thinking. And I’ve witnessed this with some of my clients as well. 

I was at my worst at my job, very stressed and unwell. Stress can do terrible things to us, it can make us think the worst. 

Right now in the world where everything is so unsure, we need to try and limit the stress if we can, as best as we can. And if I can share a message that turned my life around, I’d like to share that with you. So maybe you take it on board. But when I realized that my job was causing such pain and anguish to me, I realized I had to change how I was thinking. So rather than going to work every day, and contemplating how bad it was, I looked for the good, rather than say that things just weren’t going right. I would be grateful for the people that I worked with. And I would think to myself, wow, such and such supported me today in a stressful job. 

12:17  

I don’t think for a minute that it happened overnight, it happened over a few months. I became grateful for the people that worked with me. I was grateful for their support. I started talking to more staff and finding out about their lives, and what was going on for them and listening to their problems. And when you help someone else, that makes you feel good. And then I also realize some people had far bigger problems than me, and I thought mine was massive. I concentrated on my future and what I wanted to do, and my job became the vehicle to get me to where I am today. But when I was deep and dirty in it, I didn’t say that. I didn’t say that the job could be a vehicle. I saw it as the thing that was causing me pain and anguish. And I had no choice but to do it because if I didn’t do it, how would I survive?

13:14  

And I look back now on that job, I look back now on that time in my life, and I am so grateful for it. It was like a university degree in life. It taught me more in that short period about who I am, who I wanted to be, and how I could change my thinking, and by changing my thinking, I could change my reality in my life. By using the law of attraction the wrong way, I was getting more of what I didn’t want. And it wasn’t until I realized that and changed it that things in my life started to improve. I want you to start thinking about that and ask yourself, whatever questions it is, or whatever problems that you have that seemed to be so massive, see if you can turn it around and look at it differently. For instance, if you think to yourself, nobody loves me, or I am not lovable, how about thinking about how you love yourself? And, at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is that you love yourself. 

14:36  

Because if you love yourself, you will always have your own back. You will always be able to make the right decisions. And when you fall in love with yourself, there’s a major shift in your life. You treat people differently. To be happy, I needed to serve others, and that’s why I do what I do. It’s a little bit selfish from me, but helping you makes me feel better. 

I want you to think about the law of attraction and have a deep dive into your thoughts, into what you’re thinking of what is continually going wrong and doesn’t seem to be improving. What are you saying to yourself about that problem? Are you talking in the negative? Or are you talking in the positive? If you don’t have any money, or you’re worried about money, is it because you keep looking in your bank account and saying to yourself, I have no money? Because what you’re putting out there to the world to the universe is, I have no money. How about thinking about, what can I do to help others and generate more money? There are so many things that we can do and think differently to make a difference in, not only our lives but other people’s. Okay, that’s it for this week. best luck, I’m here if you need me. 

 

 

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