What Does It Feel Like To Let Go Of Negative Emotions

, it’s because you’re going through a divorce, or it could just only be a separation. Here’s the thing, what happens is after going through something like a divorce. Let’s imagine that all of a sudden, you’re throwing everything up into the air.

And what you’re doing is you’re waiting for whatever comes down to stick to actually fully understand. Oh, that’s true. That’s not true. Or whatever the case might be. So what I’m trying to explain there in that metaphor is if you imagine all this stuff that doesn’t come down, it’s stuck up there. That’s all the things that you probably knew that weren’t right.

You probably knew things needed to change, but it wasn’t until later on that you really thought about it, or they never ever came back to you, that you realized they were wrong. So the easiest way to explain this to you would be unknowing. So you know what should be happening and what shouldn’t be happening.

Today on a call with a client, I asked her a question, and she said, I don’t know the answer. And then something I always like to say, and this is something you could use. If I did know the answer, what would it be? Because subconsciously, you know, what it is that you’re searching for.

You know what it is that is right or wrong. You just have a blockage there. So when you say to yourself if I knew what it was, what would it be? The answer will come to you. You might have to sit on it for a few days, but it will come to you. So if you’ve got a time in your life, or there’s a difficult decision you’re going through right now, and you don’t know what the answer might be, then just say that to yourself before you go to bed at night or throughout the day.

If I knew the answer to whatever the problem might be X, Y, and Z, what would the answer be? Right. Today I want to talk to you about being a conscious seeker, and you might say, Tanya, what is a conscious seeker? A conscious seeker is someone wanting to find their own being again.

You’ve heard me talk before. If you’ve been listening to the podcast long enough, you’ve heard me say that. The turning point for me was when my mum said, I want the old Tanya back. So the old Tanya is really my own being. It was a person I was probably born to be, but throughout habit and throughout trying to make someone else happy beliefs, negative feelings that I had and attitudes towards not only myself but towards others and how I interpreted things. I became someone who wasn’t Tanya, you could say Tanya 2.0, but Tanya 1.0 is the conscious seeker that I was trying to find her again when I got divorced. I was looking for a way to get back to that pure person that I always knew I had to be.

So what does it feel like to let go of negative and hurtful feelings? Let me explain to you something. If right now you feel like there is a weight on your shoulders or feel like there’s such pressure inside you. That is what it’s like when you hold on to negative emotions, and you might think, Tanya, you’re all over the shop in this podcast, but I’m coming around full circle.

So just bear with me. Negative emotions are what the conscious seeker is trying to get rid of because those negative emotions hold us back. So if we go back to, what does it feel like to have negative feelings? As I said, it’s like a weight on your shoulders. It’s like this pressure building up.

So imagine you’re a pressure cooker, and you’re just waiting to burst. That’s what it’s like when you carry a brand, all of the negativity from your relationship break up, all the things that have gone wrong throughout your relationship. That’s actually called the cause the catalyst to then end it.

Another way of looking at it is to imagine that all of these emotions that I’m talking about right now are a giant beach ball, and you’re at the beach, and you’re pushing the ball. You know, the pressure it takes to hold that under the water is pretty full-on, but then when you stand back and release it, the ball just goes flying into the air with the water.

So you’re sort of getting what I mean. Don’t, aren’t you? And it’s those feelings that we as conscious seekers are looking to dispel. And the best way of talking about this would be saying, we’re looking for a surrendered state. And that means to be free of all of the inner conflict and all of the negativity that you will have heard me talk about on many occasions when we tell ourselves I’m not good enough.

I can’t do this alone. I don’t have enough money. I’m not smart enough. My mom or dad was divorced and look, whether he turned up, you know, money doesn’t grow on trees. So I’m never going to be able to survive this alone. I’m too old, which is very common that I hear all of those things.

Are these inner conflicts that we have going on in us? But I want to get you to a state of well-being. And so that’s what the conscious seeker is out there looking for. So let me just explain you, explain this to you. So we as human beings, or you could just say, let’s say the human body, the human body has thoughts.

Correct. But what we do is we also have this programming, and we carry around within us this reservoir of beliefs, of negative feelings, attitudes, emotions, and these stories and interpretations that we’ve learned over the time that we’ve been, in our previous relationship. So, in other words, we’ve, we’ve become the person we are today, even though that’s genuinely not who we were meant to be, we’ve been a climatized to become who we are.

And this mostly happens to me. So I’m not telling you anything that I didn’t go through myself. And then from this reservoir of beliefs and feelings that we carry around. They cause pressures. They cause expectations and problems in our lives. And many cases, if you can’t get rid of these negative feelings, what happens is they turn into illnesses.

So there’s research out there that actually confirms this person who had highly stressed, anxious, um, who have, um, you know, negative feelings about themselves. We’ll get ill, we’ll get cancers and other illnesses because of their bodies, their cell, the cells in their bodies, uh, dealing with these stress hormones all the time.

It’s just not good for us. So I’m just going to recap again. So we have these reservoirs of beliefs and negative feelings, and then these. Beliefs cause these pressures, which cause expectations and illnesses; the next party, the human condition, then tries to run away and hide. And these actions as well cause misery.

So rather than face up. To what’s going wrong or what we’re feeling. We don’t want to touch the fields that come with all of these emotions. So what we do is we try and hide, or we ignore them, or we run away. Or in today’s lifestyle, what we’ll do is we’ll get out a bottle of wine. We’ll sit down and watch Netflix.

Well, um, you know, overindulge in chocolate or whatever it is. We’re doing all those things. Cause that’s the human condition’s way of not facing what we need to meet. So rather than actually address whatever is causing the printer, we run away from it. We ignore it. We try and. I think that it’s not there.

Then what happens after that is when we feel threatened continuously. From both these, yeah. Internal feelings and whatever is happening externally. So the external factors could be your partner giving you a hard time. It could be your mother-in-law sending you a text message or someone that used to be a friend having a go at you.

It could be someone saying something about the children not being looked after how they used to be. Not sure it could be something like that, but. What happens is after we feel, or we run away from all of these, these emotions, what we then do is we start to have these inner dialogues with ourselves, telling ourselves once a game we’re not good, fair enough.

And all of these things or we have external factors where we’ve got someone telling us we’re not good enough. And we believe it. And this happens on many occasions when, um, Husbands or wives will say to their ex-partner, you’ll never do this alone. Your, you know, you’re not able to do this. You need me; you’ll never be able to afford it.

You can’t look after the children. Like I can, whatever, all of those external factors, they all add to this equation. So I’m just going to rape cap again. So you get it. These are the programmings that we live by today. So we carry around these reservoirs of beliefs, negative feelings, and attitudes from there, these calls, pressures, and expectations on us, which causes illness and problems.

The next part is that our human condition tries to run away and ignore these things that we don’t want. We don’t want to dress it. We go and hide. That’s why we drink, or we overeat, or we ignore ourselves, or we, we go out to parties, whatever it is, we do not want to face our problems. And then the next bit is we feel threatened continuously, and the threat comes from internal.

It comes from. Our own narrative that we’ve got going around on loop in our mind, or it comes from external factors from our ex-partners or whoever puts their expectations on us or their interpretations of what we should or should not do. The next part of this is during all of this programming momentarily, we feel joy and happiness.

And it’s just there for a fleet eating moment. It gives us hope, and it’s that hope that we need to build on. It’s that joy or happiness that we want more of. And we think. Oh, we’ve had a little bit of this now. We just need to find it. It’s not that far away. It, you know, we’ve only had it, so it will come back.

There’s no doubt about it, but this is the problem with the conscious seeker. What happens is we just go back again to the reservoir of beliefs and negative feelings and attitudes and the circle. Perpetuates over and over again. Okay. How do I know this? Well, I lived it. I lived it for many, many years, and I watch my clients live now.

The other thing. What is so critical here is you’ve heard me talk about content and context. So I can take you out of your life’s content, your house, which is your car, which is your job—even the family members or the friends you spend your time with. And a lot of people going through a divorce do this.

They think I’m just going to change the content of my life, and everything is going to be okay. I’m going to be a brand new person, but that’s where the mistakes happen. And I’m sure you’re starting to discover this. Aren’t you? You can see this to be a conscious seeker. You have to change your life context, and changing the context means you must change that reservoir of beliefs and feelings, and attitudes.

You must change them to something different because if you don’t, you will continually perpetuate this circle of what I’ve just discussed with you now. So you might be asking, okay, Tanya, well, Hannah, we change these beliefs and negative feelings. What do we do? Well, it’s simple. My mentor used to say all the time, just stop it, just stop it.

And I’d say to myself, it can’t be that simple, but it is. It is as simple as just letting go. So what I have now got really good at is fully understanding when I feel an emotion or a negative feeling or an attitude towards someone that’s probably not what I want or what I intended. I am genuinely aware of what was and where it came from in my body.

I sort of feel it, whether it be my stomach, heart, head, and I acknowledge it. I welcome it. And then I let it go. If, as you can see, I’m doing there is I’m not doing what the human condition has been doing for centuries. I’m not running away from it or ignoring it. I’m accepting it. I’m appreciating it.

I’m aware of it, but by acknowledging it, it dissipates, it dissolves. It goes away. But before what I was doing, I was just ignoring it. I was pretending like it wasn’t there. I was acting like, no, I. I’m not really feeling this, or I’m not really thinking this, you know, was so by doing this little exercise, what I’ve found is becoming a conscious seeker has become so much easier because all of a sudden, I am fully aware of what I’m feeling most of the time I’m addressing it.

I mean, knowledging it. And I’m just waving goodbye. I’m letting it go, or I’m just stopping it. And if you wanted to test this, let me give you just an idea of what happened to me. One day this week, I had a too thick. So what I thought I’d do, I felt the pain in my tooth, and I thought, okay, let’s just think about this.

So my tooth was hurting. And I went to bed, and I didn’t take anything. But what I did is I laid there, and I was so entirely grateful. Truly grateful that my heart was pounding for my mouth, for my teeth. I was happy that they could feed my body, glad that they allowed me to bite sticky tape to wrap presents.

There were a few other weeds and beautiful things that I was thinking of when I was grateful for my teeth. What happened? After I felt so thankful for my teeth. I noticed the pain in my mouth, all of a sudden started to subside. It wasn’t as sharp as it had been. And then I continued this. I was aware of the pain, but I was also thinking about all of the great things my teeth had allowed me to eight had allowed me to experience.

And before long. The real pain had just gone. I’d acknowledged it. And then I let it go, and it just stopped and might sound really, really strange, but I promise you this work. So a group of us have been trialing this very, um, formula over the last few months. And I can say we’ve tried it in many different areas of our life and it has worked.

It has worked like it’s so simple, but it works. So for you, if you’re dealing with all of these emotions right now, and you’re wondering how you’re going to get through it, but you genuinely want to be happy and joyful, but all you feel is all of the negativity and the worry and the fear. Just acknowledge what you’re feeling.

Ask yourself. Why is it here? What’s it telling you, accept it, and be grateful for it. Be genuinely thankful for what it’s telling you, and then just let it go. And then what happens? Just like the pressure cooker, then there’s no pressure. It can’t explode. Because you’ve addressed what was causing the pressure in the first place.

So hopefully, this makes sense. I’d love you to give this a go, send me an email, try it out. Tell me if it’s for you because it’s indeed been working for many of us, and it’s been amazing. And I want you to be a conscious seeker too, cause I want you to be happy and joyful. All right, that’s it for this week; I’ve really looked forward to chatting with you.

It’s quite late here tonight, where I live, and, um, I usually do my podcasts during the day, but I just really felt like doing this one today. I really enjoyed learning how to use these tools and just letting go. All right. My darlings. I will talk to you again next week.

Bye. For now.