To be balanced, the universe needs to give back the energy it receives. It sends back what we send to it. What we do to other people, what we say to other people, every action we take creates an energy that will sooner or later, return to us like a boomerang. This is why we should be careful about what we send out.

In this episode of the Divorce Angel podcast, I share with you the tips I followed to reach inner peace and well-being.

Let’s get into it:

 

Timestamps

What’s happening to you is producing a vibration through your life. [00:01:20]

I used to retaliate. I used to be triggered. [00:02:30]

I don’t do it anymore. I’m not doing it again. [00:04:00]

Don’t let anyone take your inner peace. [00:05:30]

Sometimes you need to move on. [00:07:00]

The importance of taking care of our well-being. [00:09:00]

One of the tools I used to reach inner peace. [00:10:20]

You already have what you need. [00:12:00]

Links:

My book: The Jelly Bean Jar – Empowering Independence through Divorce

https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/

Join my Free Facebook Group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/

Divorce Roadmap Session:

https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/

Transcription

Hi, everyone, and welcome back to the podcast. I’m so happy that you’re with me today. It’s such a beautiful day outside. I don’t know why. Life is so good. I mean, I don’t want to rub it in. If you’re going through a hard time, what I want you to understand is this is just a moment in time. It’s just a stone in the ocean. And that stone in the ocean has a ripple effect, and it can go for ages. 

1:20  

So what I’m trying to say is what’s happening to you is having an ongoing vibration through the rest of your life. How you act, the decisions you make, or how you feel right now, will have a bearing in your future. It doesn’t mean it needs to be neither good nor bad, because you can change your path at any time. But just because today is hard and tough, it does not mean that tomorrow will be like like that. And only because it’s tough, it doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy on the inside. Well-being is something that every person should have. Don’t allow anyone to take it away from you. Don’t admit that what someone says, or someone else’s attitude, or someone else’s actions, have significance on how you feel today. 

2:33  

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This took me a long time to learn. I used to retaliate. I used to be triggered. I used to be in a very shitty mood if someone did or said something I found offensive. Then I realized that it was up to me. If I didn’t take offence, it would not affect my well-being. 

A good way of describing this is what happened today. I love my daughter to pieces. She’s amazing. She’s beautiful. And she’s my blood, sweat and tears. But like all mothers and daughters, we can butt heads. And it used to trigger me.

3:28  

If I said black, she would say white. If I said let’s go here, she’d go, let’s go there. If I said let’s do 6 pm, she’d say let’s do 8 pm. And it was an ongoing game, well, I thought it was a game for her. She probably thinks the same about me. I’ve realized now, I don’t need to get involved anymore. All I need to do is go back to her. At the moment, we’re trying to organise a birthday party. Her brother and her birthday are a day apart. 

4:06  

And it’s always been very handy when they were little because we only needed to have one family party in the middle. Rather than having two parties. It always worked out well. Trying to organize dinner and getting together now that they’re adults, and they’ve their lives, is harder. 

The boys are really happy, “yes, that suits mom”. But it doesn’t suit my daughter. So she came back to me via text and goes, oh, look, it’s my birthday that day, and I’d prefer to do something else.

I could have taken it the wrong way. “Hey, I gave birth to you. I know it’s your birthday, and it would be nice to see your parents on your birthday, but I get it, you want to spend time with your friends”. 

So I said, how about I see you the following weekend. I’ll still go out to dinner with the brothers. 

I would have got upset, and I would have tried my hardest to fit in with everyone and try to make everyone happy. I don’t do it anymore. I’m not doing it again. So she either fold in with the rest of us, or chooses to see us next weekend, and either one of them was fine with me. 

5:29  

I’ve worked on these skills for the last year. I’m not going to allow someone else anymore to take my inner peace or my well-being. I’m not going to give it away to anyone anymore. Because your well-being is your vibration. And what I mean by that is we are like magnets, and whatever emotion we put into the world, we get it back. 

If we’ve got a happy emotion, we vibe right that, and good things happen to us. When we are in a bad mood, a shitty mood, pissed off, angry, jealous, whatever it might be, these negative emotions. Those vibrations go out into the world, and we get bad outcomes. We get negative outcomes, things start to compound. 

And a way of explaining this is one of my clients yesterday. She’s in a very bad way. Her energy is so low. She’s talking to herself in such a negative manner. I can’t do this. I’m not strong enough. I’m not smart enough. And this woman is amazingly smart. 

7:00  

She is a pharmacist, she’s a natural path. She’s got skills that a lot of us would love to have. But she’s on such a Debbie Downer that she is sending that energy out into the world. And it’s coming back to her like a boomerang. And everything is just getting worse. And then every decision she makes, she says, see, I can’t even trust myself to make the right decision. What she doesn’t understand is everything that comes out of her mouth is negative. She does not see anything from a place of being positive, or happy, or grateful, or anything like that. And I said to her yesterday unless we can get you to change the way you’re thinking, what is happening to you is just going to continue to perpetuate the negativity in your life. And she said everything is going wrong. I should never have left I should have stayed. And why would you stay in a relationship where you had not been happy for a very long period? Only because it’s easier. The negativity in her life is so bad, that she chooses, or she’s thought about just going back-ended. And what I’ve got to get it to understand is, she has got so much to look forward. 

8:26  

She’s got amazing qualification to back her up that a lot of people would kill to have. I’ve had clients that have walked away from marriages with, let’s say, $100,000. I have even had one that walked away with $60,000, which is nothing. That person that walked away with $60,000, she had the best attitude, she was going to rebuild. She just wanted to be happy, and the happiness would vibrate and send ripples out into the world. Just Like the stone in the ocean, and those ripples would bring back positivity, good thoughts, options, massive opportunity, all of the things that people want. 

And this pharmacist is going to walk away with, maybe, 20 times more than that client yet, she’s not happy. And it’s sad to watch because she’s got so much to be grateful. 

It all comes back to our expectations, our interpretations and what we want for our life. But the truth of the matter is, money is nothing. Because if we are happy and we have well-being, opportunities will arise. Good things will happen to us, and it will lead us to some amazing places in life. 

10:02  

So right now, if you’re in a position and you’re happy, consider not giving someone else your well-being or your happiness. If your partner is giving you a really hard time, and it’s rubbing off on you, think about not letting that penetrate you. Your thoughts should be, I am so happy, things are going well in my life, I don’t need to be taking on the garbage. 

A tool I used to get to where I am today was a book that got referred to me called “The gratitude book”. And it outlined how lucky every one of us is, and how we can make anything possible in our life. We can do whatever we want to do. There are no limitations. We’ve been told when we were children, you can’t do this, don’t be ridiculous, you’re not smart enough, you’re not strong enough. 

Whatever the case was that you were told early on in your life, or as my client, the husband was the one that continually told her those things. And now she believes it. And I’ve got to get her to a stage that she understands that she is everything. Everything inside of her can improve her life. She’s got everything she needs. She doesn’t need money. It’s inside her, just like it’s in me, just like it’s in you. We don’t need anyone else, the answers to all the questions that are inside of us. 

11:59  

The answers to your career, to your money, to your life, to where you want to go, to the next person you’re going to meet. All of that is in you. You just got to trust and believe. My goal for you is to stop thinking about the bad, and turn your thought patterns around, and be grateful for all of the good no matter how tiny, no matter how small. No matter if someone gave you a wife in the car, someone you know to open the door for you. Someone gave you 20 cents to pay for some groceries because you are short. Someone bought your coffee at work. It doesn’t matter. Just be grateful for the little things because the little things compound into big things and big things are just around the corner and I am peanuts. person for that. If I can do it, you can do it. I made that. If I can do it, you can do it. 

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